In the context of the high control group, marking is a delightful little invention. When the folks cannot get enough dirt on someone they don't want around, they begin to "mark" someone, even if they cannot put their finger on why they're disliked. And thus, the cycle has begun. This person (can even be a five year old child) now never gets invited to social events, and if she invites others to socialize, the invitation is declined. This practice has basically three results. The first is that the person conforms their personality (even subconsciously) to fit into the "group." This person lives on constant guard of their true self, and in fear that she "will be discovered" for her real self. This is what the cult wants: Robotron conduct thinly veiling utter fear of rejection. Second, the person just withdraws into seclusion and depression. The cult does not mind this, because it is an example to everyone else what happens if you aren't exactly like everyone else-you are doomed to a life of loneliness and rejection. And thirdly, most commonly, the marked person seeks out other social release, which has to be "worldly". By doing this, the "marked" individual acts out a self-fulfilling prophecy: Dubs won't hang out with me, so I hang out with "worldlies" which makes the dubs not hang out with me....Everyone has to belong somewhere, it is part of the human condition, even biology (as some recent psychological studies have tentatively shown). The way that high control groups effectuate control through this need is fascinating. Sad for me, though. I was a victim, and my mom was too, since she let me hang out with "worldly kids" because there were no dubs in our neighborhood.
La Capra
JoinedPosts by La Capra
-
48
Marking.
by Englishman ini've heard the expression a few times here but have normally not taken much notice.
i've been exited for 31 years and 4 months, well before the onset of elders, reproofs and marking.. i understand the first 2 but am all at sea about the the third.
someone please tell me exactly what "marking" is and how one becomes marked or a marker.. or markee!
-
-
-
75
Those scary apostates outside conventions with banners and megaphones...
by dolphman inremember those people?
my mom would tell me to not even look at them.
they had bullhorns, banners, waving at us as we walked in.
-
-
La Capra
At the Cow Palace in San Francisco, there were always a few at the entrance gates. However, after driving through the streets of San Francisco, seeing them was a lot less bizarre than many of other sights we had just experienced. I always thought they must certainly be really convinced of what they were trying to tell us to be just a few, making noodles of themselves, in front of thousands of people whose convictions were so diametrically opposed and equally strong. Shoshana
-
6
Request for song number
by Ron1968 inwould anyone know from the october kingdom ministry which is the first song played for the week of 10/27/03?
i am trying to help someone gain access to a jw site.. thanks!.
ron
-
-
La Capra
Sorry to be fussy, but how much more difficult is it to say "64" (it's the last post on that link, Ron) than to set up the link? Just wondering, Shoshana.
-
52
What did you day dream about at assemblies?
by lastcall inas a kid i would try to pay attention, but i just couldn't hang in there.
if i didn't day dream i was going to go insane.. i used to create scenarios in my mind that i was a jw super hero.
i had a special costume that was partially made of "flubber" that would allow me to bounce all over the auditorium.
-
-
La Capra
I used to daydream through most meetings and assemblies. I had several alternative realities that I would slip into, running movies of the plots I made up in my head. Then I would outline them. I worked out some pretty clever plots, that I ended up throwing away because they were mixed in with my assembly notes, and I did a purge when I disassociated. I regret that part now, because while I can remember the gist of each of my alternate realities (I had 6), and a number of the plot lines, I can't remember how most them played out. I still think a few had screen play potential, but I can't recapture the details of how I developed the stories. When my mom would notice that I wasn't actually taking notes, she would make me put away my notebook. Then I would daydream about guys, sex, and was quite gifted at "fully realizing my fantasies" by crossing and recrossing my legs at just the right time in my daydreams. I wish I could have been doing something more productive with my time, now. All those days wasted. I calculated that I spent about 245 24-hour days in kingdom halls, at assemblies, conventions, memorials, and special talks in my life. Ackk! Shoshana
-
45
How many people did you personally bring into the truth?
by yxl1 inare they still witnesses?
do you feel personally responsible?
have you made any attempt to correct their/your mistake?.
-
-
La Capra
I still feel guilty about talking the boy who wanted to date me in high school into becoming one. After taking myself out, he's still in. He ended up marrying the mother of one of our classmates-clearly his issues were more complex than I as a 17 year old could fully comprehend. I feel the obligation to get one out for the one who's in at my fault. One day the opportunity will present itself. Shoshana
-
70
My dub mom wants to remarry
by unbeliever inbefore she can though she needs my dad to admit to adultary.
they've been divorced for years but he has never remarried and has no plans too.. she says she's in love with a widowed brother but before they go any further she wants to be scriptually free.
she called my dad and asked him if he would help her out and he laughed and hung up the phone.
-
-
La Capra
No disrespect to your mother, but, if this elder is a widower, he literally has his pick of hundreds of available, and scripturally free women in his circuit. Is it possible that your mother was selected as his "companion" for the very reason that she was NOT free? That way, there is a limit to the commitment he would have to make to her. Nothing was mentioned that the widower is seeking verifacation of her freedom, but your mother is. He can string her along, get her to do everything for him (like a good wannabe elderette would do, even possibly giving up a little something), but still be able to have peace and solitude whenever he wants it. If your mother ever gets her freedom, it's possible the "dating game" will end, because the widower will then be obliged to fish or cut bait, as they say. Just a thought, but it's something I saw with the widowers when I was a kid. The fools those single slightly post-middle aged women made of themselves. Hoo boy, just thinking of a few of them has me laughing to myself. Shoshana
-
7
Would anybody have joined if...
by JH in.
would anybody have joined or remained in the jw's organization if they would have taught that the end was only in 100 years from now?
.
-
-
La Capra
The whole allure of an apocalyptic cult is that it MUST appeal to an individual's fear of dying (or being destroyed at armageddon). To set the date out a hundred years removes most (if not all) potential converts. Think about why maintstream Christianity developed its heaven/hell doctrines (since everyone eventually dies...). When WBTS sets dates, they aren't so far off that NO ONE will be around then that is now, but still out far enough that the people that were pulled in for earlier dates won't be around, won't remember, or figured they'd wasted their lives anyway, that they go along with all the younger ones who were sucked into it all. Most people in the developed world have the opportunity to learn about WBTS pattern of random predictions gone by the way side. But all those folks in third world countries are ripe for the picking.... 100 years away? No Way Dude. Shoshana
-
64
Watchtower Motion to Dismiss - DENIED
by jst2laws inbarbara anderson and joseph anderson vs watchtower society.
as you may remember the watchtower has petitioned the circuit court of manchester tennessee to dismiss the case against them filed by barbara and joe anderson.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/22/59953/1.ashx
-
-
La Capra
So that whole spiel about ecclesiastical judgments is pretty much from other court decisions. The judge may not be familiar yet with the leading decisions on point for each side's position. It seems that the Anderson's lawyer is trying a new avenue, and relying on whistle blower protections to analogize the damages, and the bad faith conduct, rather than the traditional tort causes of action. It is an interesting theory, one that I can't imagine would have survived summary judgment even three years ago, prior to the Catholic Church problems with child molestation cover ups. The courts may be looking for ways to bring more protection to the powerless who are systematically victimized under the "protections of a church." I hope to see some regular updates. I am fascinated by this new approach. I bet someone pissed his pants when he read the summons and complaint claiming whistle-blower protection violations. Hadn't thought of that one, those boys in Bethel, had they? Shoshana
-
49
Holiday decorations on the Kingdom Hall
by NaruNaruChan inyou know... last year i chickened out... but i'm thinkin there's these two trees in front of my old hall... and they look just like xmas trees... god, wouldn't it be funny if...?
if we had a mass movement and bunch of apostates went to as many kh in their cities and threw some decorations up?
i wonder if the dubs would think it's the end of the world!
-
-
La Capra
Now if an "insider" could just swap out the CDs and as the meeting is starting, instead of "let's watch how we walk" out plays, "walking in a winter wonderland...." How long would it take to notice...How many times could it be pulled off? What would their new procedures look like to prevent such satanic hijinks in the future?...Shoshana
-
13
Is Charity Utterly Incomprehensible to Them? (Dec. 1, Wt)
by metatron inonce upon a time, monty python had a sketch in which john clease portrayed.
a businessman approached for a contribution to feed starving orphans.
he appeared.
-
-
La Capra
I keep a list (by the door) of the incredible charitable works accomplished locally by religious groups. When THEY come to my door, I ask what they do locally as far as charitable works, some actually lie and make up this or that (abused women's shelter, when offering awake on spousal abuse and I challenged them on their physical and material help, not just the lip service). I then start listing some of the things those "bad guys from Babylon the Great" are doing. Then I calmly tell them that they would be creating far more good will if they just used the time they went knocking on doors of people who aren't ome, and taking hteir coffee breaks, they would just volunteer those hours to people REALLY in need of just the basics.***** This year for the High Holy days, the LDS church across the street from my temple GAVE us their space, free of charge, so we could all meet together. On Yom Kippur, everyone brought bags of groceries for the food bank (who sent trucks) to represent the food we weren't eating because of fasting. People tended to bring a week's worth, not just a day's. And also some were whipping out their checkbooks. When there used to be food at assemblies instead of donating the leftovers to a local shelter, they would sell it in bulk to people leaving the last day. Good Samaritan-not. Shoshana